A treasure hunt is a great way for kids to have fun at a birthday party or playgroup. When planning your treasure hunt you will need to consider where to hide your treasure and, more importantly, what treasure your children will enjoying hunting for. Small toys, candy and treats often work well.

To draw the perfect treasure-hunt map, start at the end where you will bury the treasure. Then, think backwards, reconstructing the path you want your kinds to follow to find the their prize. Do you want them to stay in the same room or a specific area? Can they go outside or should they stay indoors? Are there places they need to avoid to stay safe?

After you plan out the route to the treasure, you need to come up with clues. Some good ideas for clues are coded messages, riddles, poems or reverse text messages that must be held up to a mirror to be read.

If you host your treasure hunt outside in a large space, kids can use compasses or be given directions like, "Take seven big steps north and four baby steps east" to find each clue. You can find more ideas for treasure hunt clues at Squidoo.

Remember, the best part of the treasure hunt is searching for the treasure. Lead your pirates on a long, twisted adventure before they final reach their reward.

Check out ParentDish's Toys and Games section for more suggestions for birthday party ideas.

What 5-year-old doesn't love a tea party? But there is caffeine in tea ... which seems like an iffy idea for little ones. No?

Hmmm, well ... is a little spot of tea for children bad, and if so, how bad? To find out, I phoned Mommy Advisor Christine Palumbo, a nutritionist in private practice in a Chicago suburb, who's an adjunct faculty member at Benedictine University.

"Weak [caffeinated] tea is fine," said Palumbo, "Or, if a mother is concerned about caffeine she can always purchase decaffeinated tea." Palumbo had other ideas to get the nutritional nod of approval.

When your birthday falls on the same date as one of the worst tragedies of humankind, yearly celebrations take a backseat to memorial services. Four families with children born on that horrific day share their stories.

Gabrielle Wallach doesn't want to celebrate her 12th birthday with cake this year. Actually, the seventh-grader told her parents that she never wants cake on her birthday. Instead of marking the occasion with indulgent sweets, Gabrielle prefers to quietly honor the 2,975 people who lost their lives eight years ago on her birthday -- September 11.

Dinetta Wallach, Gabrielle's mother, still cries when she thinks about how her little girl woke up in the family's downtown Manhattan apartment on the morning of her 4th birthday, Sept. 11, 2001, eagerly anticipating her SpongeBob SquarePants birthday cake, and how her daughter's world – along with everyone else's -- changed.

Mother and daughter were home alone when they heard a giant boom at 8:45 a.m. It was the hijacked passenger jet, American Airlines Flight 11 out of Boston, Mass., slamming into the north tower of the World Trade Center. Minutes later, while taking in the horrifying view from a neighbor's apartment, they witnessed the second plane hit and, soon after the buildings collapse.

"Why is that building burning?," Wallach remembers her daughter asking over and over again. Then, the little girl, who was starting pre-kindergarten the next day asked, "Did my SpongeBob cake blow up, too?"

"She thought the whole city was coming down," said Wallach.

That night, when Gabrielle's brother Jordan and father Fred were safely home, the family decided it was important to mark the little girl's birthday. Gabrielle's two grandmothers came by and Dad bought a pre-packaged Entenmann's cake. It was no SpongeBob, but it was something.

Gabrielle didn't talk much about 9/11 until her 5th birthday came around. Wallach asked her daughter's teacher if she could bring in cupcakes to lift the children's moods on the one-year anniversary, and the teacher agreed.

Gabrielle, who overheard the conversation, did not.

"She told me she just wanted to acknowledge all of the kids who lost parents that day," said Wallach. "She said, 'No cupcakes in school' and that she wouldn't talk about her birthday in class. That continued until she was 10."

Now a Middle-schooler, Gabrielle remains contemplative when she wakes up on her birthday. Every year since the attacks, the family gathers in the neighbor's apartment and watches the memorial beams of light that project into the evening sky were the World Trade Center once stood. The family will have an intimate dinner on Friday, but no cake.

"We'll never have cake on 9/11," said Wallach.

A Birthday Forever Changed

Gabrielle is not alone in her strong reaction to sharing her birthday with the massive tragedy that reshaped the world. Whether they were born in the years before the attacks, in 2001 or in a post-9/11 world, September 11 birthday children are a marked bunch, their birthdays forever tainted by the events of the day.

Benjamin Hesse's family members have trained themselves to say Benjamin was born "the 11th of September," so they can redirect the conversation before hearing the inevitable, "Oh, that's terrible."

The boy turned 8 in 2001. As the tragic morning unfolded, his family discovered that an uncle, Manhattan fireman Faust Apostol, went to the World Trade Center and died in the line of duty. Debbie Hesse, Benjamin's mom, broke the news to her son when she picked him up from his Long Island school, about 20 miles from the terrorist attacks. Benjamin told her afterward that he didn't want to celebrate his birthday that evening.

"I tell him no matter what happened, it was still one of the most important days in our life," said Hesse, who will take Benjamin and the family out for dinner on his 16th birthday this year. "He was too young to lose (his) birthday. Would I have changed that day? Of course."

Benjamin's school has held vigils for 9/11 victims every year since the tragedy. Because several students lost parents when the towers were attacked, Hesse and school officials agreed it was best that he not celebrate his birthday on the day itself, out of respect.

Lives Taken, Patriots Born

When Hillary O'Neill turns 8 on Friday, her parents will buy her red, white and blue balloons and place a small American flag on her birthday cake. Family friends will call the house to wish Hillary a happy birthday because the occasion gives them an excuse to celebrate something good on the anniversary of 9/11.

Hillary is proud to be born on September 11, said her mom, Heather O'Neill. In fact, Hillary pointed out to her mom last week that her name has two "L's" in it, which, for her, symbolize the towers and the 11 in her birthdate. The young girl, who goes to school with several children who lost their fathers in the 2001 attacks, wears a World Trade Center charm on her bracelet and an American flag pin on her Crocs.

But for O'Neill, her daughter's birthdate is difficult to handle. An avid scrap booker, she has yet to create a page for Hillary's birthday. The day the baby girl was born began with a perfect sky and mom-to-be O'Neill thought, "What a beautiful day to have a baby."

That feeling changed when O'Neill turned on the TV in her Norwalk, Ct., hospital room and learned of the terrorism in the midst of her labor. The hospital went into chaos as the staff prepared for the anticipated overflow of emergency-room patients from New York City.

"What am I doing bringing a child into this world when it is so evil?," O'Neill wondered, asking that the TV be turned off. Hillary was born as the hospital continued to set up for survivors, though none ever came.

O'Neill and her husband Glenn have come to believe that Hillary's life is a symbol of hope because of the day she came into the world.

"She has all of those people twinkling in her eyes," said O'Neill. "It is a source of pride for all of us in our family."

The Birth of the Future

For some children born on the September 11ths beyond 2001, the significance of the day is not yet understood. Wendy from California, who asked for anonymity, said her son, Joshua, born on Sept. 11, 2005, is not yet aware of the meaning of his birthday. Joshua was born six week prematurely and Wendy never gave his birthday a second thought. She was focused solely on her son's survival.

"I've never said anything to him," said Wendy. "As your child gets older, you can talk about it. Would I necessarily talk about it on their birthday? I don't know. ... Where do you find the line to say we are going to keep living ... versus an acknowledgment of the past?"

"How bad is it to leave one child out?," a mommy blogger wrote via email. "I have many friends that won't have play-dates or sleep overs for one without making plans for the other. I think it works against them, because the kids get so coddled and learn that everything has to be even."

Does everything always have to be even among siblings? To find out, I called my friend and Mommy Advisor Rosanne Tobey, director of Calm and Sense Therapy, a counseling service.

"I agree with this mom," Tobey said. "There's not necessarily anything wrong with trying to keep things equal when they're too young to understand. Otherwise you're going to end up with constant tantrums. But by kindergarten or first grade, kids can start to understand that the world isn't even all the time."

Here are Tobey's tips on how to keep the peace when things aren't equal:

Have special time with the "left-out" child. When one sibling gets invited to a party and the other doesn't, try to make time to focus on that child so she feels special. But Tobey warns, don't oversell your at-home activities -- as in, "We'll have the most fun at-home day ever!" -- or you'll be setting yourself up for failure.

Explain the situation in terms that make sense to a child. "Tell your child that she wasn't invited because she isn't in the birthday girl's class or isn't her age, not because they aren't friends, which can hurt your child's feelings."

Sympathize with your child. "It's okay to say, 'I can see you're disappointed. I would be, too. What can we do that's fun together?'" Make sure you don't trivialize her feelings. Allow her be sad about it. "If your child is sad or angry about not being invited, that's okay." She's learning that life isn't always fair, which isn't a fun lesson.

Encourage siblings to develop separate friends. They will come to expect that they won't always be invited to the same parties. "They'll learn to develop a little independence from their sibling."

So is it bad to leave one child out if the other sibling gets invited to a party?
It's okay to let her feel disappointed and to help her work through those feelings. "I don't think it's terrible to keep things even," added Tobey. "But if you keep trying to make everything perfectly even, as the kids get older, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of "gotcha" from the kids; they'll always find a way to think things are uneven." Instead, help your kids develop by experiencing the disappointment, recovering from it and developing resilience.

Have you had a less-than-perfect parenting moment and you're wondering, "How bad"? Send it to Sabrina at PrincessLPink9@aol.com. She'll try to answer as many as she can.

Sabrina Weill is the founder of the pink, princess-y gift site: PrincessLovesPink. Many of the Mommy Advisors in this column are the writer's personal or professional friends.

When our firstborn turned one, I decided to do a farm-themed party in honor of his love of animals and tractors, complete with a homemade barn cake. This was the first theme cake I'd ever attempted and I had no inkling that no matter how many bottles of red food coloring you add to butter cream frosting, it will remain pink.

In addition to the color issue, in all the stress of preparations for the party, only a square pan and lone cupcake emerged unscathed from the inferno of that house's ancient convection oven I never quite figured out how to operate. The visual effect of stacking the cupcake on the main cake slathered in pink butter cream was of a Barbie military tank, so I added a plastic straw to complete the effect. Happy 1st Birthday, Baby!

That was a pretty awful cake, but at least I was an amateur. Cake Wrecks is a blog dedicated to professionally decorated cakes that went very, very wrong along the way like an incredibly graphic baby shower cake or a unique "weeding" cake. The more I explore this blog, the better I feel about that tank/barn so many years ago!

One of my closest friends lives in Dubai, the Middle East city famous for being a playground for the rich and famous. On any given weekend, America's A-list stars and athletes can be found partying on the man-made palm-shaped islands for which Dubai is renowned. What non-residents might not know is that Dubai's thriving economy is largely fueled by an enormous influx of cheap labor from countries such as India, Bangladesh, and the Philippines, and the presence of these immigrants has significant implications for the family life of its residents – including the families of the many American and European expats who work in Dubai.

Let me explain: At a recent children's birthday party my friend attended with her three year-old daughter, she was the only mom who didn't come with her housekeeper/nanny in tow. As she described it, the hired help sat with the children at the "children's table," where they coaxed their little charges to eat, cleaned up their spills, chased after them, and transitioned them from birthday cake to magician show while the moms (some dressed in heels and glittery nightclub attire – but that's another topic!) socialized and noshed on adult fare and cocktails. According to my friend this was not a unique situation; in Dubai, hired help commonly accompany moms wherever they and their children go.

I have to admit that on the day she told me this story I was rather intrigued, if not envious. I had just had one of those really hard mommy weeks – you know, sick kids, long waits at the doctor's office, unwashed hair, and very, very distant memories of my last adult social outing. The thought of a responsibility-free party accompanied by a full-time "wife," frankly, sounded delightful.

When it comes to birthday parties, moms are finding that a little creativity goes a long way toward cutting costs and making great memories for their children.

Take Anne Beller, a Dallas mother of four, for example. She actually turned a profit on her son's birthday party (don't worry – she didn't sell admission tickets). Instead of paying $200 to rent a giant, inflatable moonwalk for bouncing, Anne bought one on eBay. After the party, she neatly re-packaged it, put it back up for sale on eBay as "only used once," and sold it for more than she paid for it. The difference covered the cost of decorations, party favors and food, and she even had a little left over.

Autumn Thomson of Tallahassee threw a pajama party for her three-year-old daughter at Krispy Kreme. She bought small pillows at a dollar store for a pillow fight, and bought all the guests donuts and milk – plus coffee for parents. They hosted about 25 kids and 30-or-so parents, and spent less than $75 total. And Wendy Thomas from Nashua, New Hampshire says her nine-year-old's birthday party cost a grand total of $3.19. Not bad.

Regardless of the type of party, if you plan in advance, get input from your child and keep the guest list to a manageable size, you can throw a successful party and maintain your sanity in the process. Plus, you can add free treats to the day by signing up your child at Free Birthday Treats.

These tips will help you make your child's day special and also save you cash. Just remember: Your goal is happy children, not impressed adults.

Standing in the hallway at school last month, a mom turned to me and said, "We got your birthday invitation in the mail. We'll be there."

I saw a mom nearby, a mom with whom I've been friendly for two years, raise her eyebrows. Her son had just had his birthday party a few weeks earlier, and she'd invited the entire class to the roller rink, including my daughter. I gave her a quick smile and explained, "It's a tea party. We only invited the girls."

I felt guilty, and then I was annoyed at myself for feeling guilty. I hoped her feelings weren't hurt, of course, but this birthday business seems like it's getting out of hand.

Perplexed parents (like myself) are starting to ask the question: Do you really have to invite the whole class to your child's birthday party? Increasingly, it seems, the answer is yes. But what I haven't been able to figure out is -- why? If you've got the money, space and patience, I guess the answer is why not? But if you've never got enough of any of them, is it really necessary to spend your money and your last shred of sanity on a huge party?

Many of us are trimming our budgets, even when it comes to our kids' birthdays. Sigh. But not everyone. In certain circles of the super-rich and well-to-do, they're still "Puttin' on the Ritz" when it comes to their little darlings' parties.

Curious about the glamour, the entertainment, the excess and, of course, the cost? We spoke to the best and brightest party experts. The extravagance is clear and the fees are dear, to say the least.

If you had the money, would you throw one? Share your thoughts with us.

Sabrina Weill is editor-in-chief of PrincessLovesPink.com.

Gabriel Hurles thought his mom's homemade cupcakes were going to be the high point of kindergarten party celebrating his sixth birthday. But that was before the Dayton, NV, boy noticed a huge 4-foot box with multicolored balloon wrapping paper in the classroom.

"That's one big giant present," one of his classmates said. "See what you got, Gabriel." So he tore off the wrapping paper and got a surprise he'll never forget. Inside the huge box was his dad, Army Spc. Casey Hurles, on leave from his duties as an army mechanic in Iraq.

Hurles hadn't seen his son since last June, so he was thrilled to learn that his leave would begin right around his son's birthday. And that led to Hurles' plan to hide out in Gabriel's class. So what was the boy's reaction to finding his dad inside his present? "It's my dad!" he told his friends, adding "Hi daddy."



Gabriel's teacher, Dawn VanSickle, had no problem with helping the surprise. "One of the first things (Gabriel) shared about himself was that his dad was in Iraq and that he was waiting for his dad to come home," she said. "He talks about his dad all the time." After Gabriel's dad finished his cupcake, the teacher presented him with a banner the students had made saying "Welcome Home. Thank you for your service."

I couldn't imagine being away from my kids for months at a time, let alone being a kid and having my dad gone for that long. Gabriel seems to understand, though. "He has to work," Gabriel said. "He works in the war." It seems to me that if anyone deserves to have his dad come home, Gabriel Hurles does.

When my daughter told me she wanted to have her birthday party at the roller skating rink, I thought, "Sure! That sounds easy." Then I called the rink and had to ask them to repeat their fee twice, because I was pretty sure I heard wrong.

I hadn't.

When the kids in her class started having "friend" parties, my daughter started getting invited to places like the roller rink, Chuck E. Cheese, and the bowling alley. But I discovered after that phone call that not only am I unable to pay $200-$300 dollars for one of my kids' birthday parties, I'm also unwilling to.

How can I make an at-home party fun and affordable at the same time? I thought to myself. Then I looked at my soon to be six-year-old and the answer hit me: Throw a tea party. She was instantly on board.

When you give your children names inspired by Nazism, you are pretty much asking for trouble. Finding your kids shunned and rejected by mainstream society would seem to be an obvious consequence of saddling them with such names, right? I guess 35-year-old Heath Campbell wasn't smart enough to have seen that coming when he named his children Adolf Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler.

Campbell, a self-proclaimed Holocaust denier, is outraged that the ShopRite grocery store in Holland Township, New Jersey refuses to make a cake that reads "Adolf Hitler" for his 3-year-old's birthday. Campbell's wife, 25-year-old Deborah is equally surprised. "ShopRite can't even make a cake for a 3-year-old," she said. "That's sad."

No, what is sad is that these two don't even appreciate what those names will mean for their children. The kids haven't started school yet, but when they do, their parents don't foresee any problems at all. "I just figured that they're just names," Deborah Campbell said. "They're just kids. They're not going to hurt anybody."



Clinical psychologist Robert M. Gordon disagrees. "By the time they get to school, they will already have been damaged," he said. "Any parent that would impose such horrific names on their children is mentally ill, and they would be affecting their children from the day they were born. Only a crazy person would do that."

In the meantime, little Adolf Hitler will get his birthday cake. The Campbells are taking their request to Wal-Mart, where Adolf's last two birthday cakes were made without any fuss.

What's the best gift your kids have ever gotten? What's the worst? There have been quite a few gifts, over the years, that our children have received that they absolutely hated -- or that we, as parents, hated. Some were contrary to our values, some were inappropriate for the age of our kids, and still others were loved by the kids and hated by the parents.

Meanwhile, there are a few that we and the kids have loved getting and some we love to give. What are your favorites? Have any gift-giving or gift-getting horror stories? With the holidays approaching fast (or already here in some cases), this is information we all need to have. Use the comments to share your stories and your recommendations.

The other day, Bethany Sanders offered up some suggestions for inexpensive gifts for girls. Being a guy, I thought I'd chime in with some thoughts on some cool gifts for boys, just in case you're not quite sure what it is that little boys like these days. (Hint: Little boys are just like big boys, only with a smaller allowance.)

Mind you, I'm not really into the whole boy versus girl toys and, truth be told, I've confused my fair share of drive through clerks at McDonald's when they ask if I want toys for boys or girls in my happy meals. Still, some toys are more sensitive while others are more, well, active. Whether it's nurture, nature, some combination or none of the above, surely any of these toys, when given as a gift, will mark you as a cool parent and ensure your child's name is on every birthday party guest list.

Check these out, see what you think, and if you have any other suggestions, be sure to leave them in the comments.

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